Thinking of You
by IrrevocableVision
Summary: He spends his nights on the roof, thinking only of her, with a yearning that surpasses all thoughts. She is down below in the kitchen, thinking only of him, with the insecurity that he may never return her own feelings.


Author's notes: The first person thinking is Kyou, the second person thinking is Tohru. And please forgive me if I got some details about Fruits Basket wrong, I've never seen the anime and my only information is off of Fruits Basket websites! And excuse the sucky format, it's all my poor abused computer can do.  
  
Thinking of You One Shot  
  
__________________________________________________________________  
  
It seems that you have driven me up here again, my last refuge in the house. Everything  
  
below is silent with only the sporadic creaks of a restless building. My breath comes out in  
  
white puffs of steam but still I climb till I am here, my haven. With little struggle, I heave  
  
myself up and gracefully walk to the roof's peak. The shingles scratch against the thinness of  
  
my clothes but all discomfort is pushed away as I summon up an image of your smiling face. I  
  
lean back and close my eyes, not wanting the shimmer of the stars above to push away the  
  
glittering sparkles of your own bright orbs. It's almost winter and I wonder how time has  
  
flown by so quickly in a speed that I couldn't see. But the pulses of my pained heart shoves  
  
me back into reality and my soul feels how time has passed. The weeks and months of just  
  
silently watching you clean away our clumsy messes and cook the food we are reluctant to  
  
make. And the endlesses hours of which I have dedicated on this roof, thinking solely of you.  
  
Sometimes I think of your brilliant smile and the way it makes me feel like I'm coming home,  
  
an emotion that I have never indulged in. And sometimes I think of how grateful I am that  
  
you are in my life, however insignificant my place may be. And then....then there are other  
  
times when I want to tear my hair out in uncontrollable frustration. Times that I wonder why  
  
I had chosen YOU of all people to fall in love with. Your inscrutable face of cheerful  
  
happiness hides all the emotions my soul is crazy to see. Rarely does anything bring you  
  
down except us, the cursed ones, in times when our own stupidity becomes the stem of your  
  
tears. And your tears wash us all away in their sorrow, planting a seed of guilt that swiftly  
  
grows into worry. But as soon as those tears have come, they are gone as you wipe them  
  
away with a delicate hand, blaming it on your foolishness. Which leaves the growing vine of  
  
worry to die away into shame. It never cease to amaze me how you can affect us all with a  
  
simple glance. Our lives revolve around your mood, your joy is our joy, multiplied by  
  
hundreds, just as your grief becomes ours, multiplied by hundreds. When have we become so  
  
weak...or so attached that we cannot live without you? It is your greetings that start our day  
  
and your smiles that ends our nights, each person dreaming away of only you. The fall wind  
  
blows colder and my unruly hair whips around, falling into my eyes. A yearning for you to be  
  
up here, encircling me in your comforting arms, comes quick but is smashed flat by my rival's  
  
face. My spirit falls and I am reminded again of why I am up here all alone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I sighed as I dried the last dish, taking one last glance around the kitchen to make sure  
  
everything is clean. With a tiny click, I turn the lights off and walk to my room. As soon as the  
  
door is closed, all resolve breaks down and I fling myself upon my bed, ready to cry. Can't  
  
you see how much it hurts me to see you angry? As much as I want to quell your fire of hate,  
  
you won't let me near enough to touch the flames. Every word of rage that sprouts from your  
  
mouth is a false symbol of who you really are. You show to the world that you don't care and  
  
that it has yet to taste the fury of your wrath. But I know better. I know you hide away  
  
everything, just like me. My lungs release another burdened sigh and I laboriously turn my  
  
body to look up at the empty whiteness of my ceiling. We are both afraid to show the world  
  
our true selves, everything buried beneath the impenetrable layers of fear and uncertainty.  
  
Yet, there is a key to the treasure we have locked away inside....one we have yet to find. I  
  
trust in my faith of the present, however ignorant it may be. But I am unconfident of a future  
  
without you. Will you abandon the family and me, finally loosing the worn patience I see in  
  
your smoldering eyes? Will you be whirled away by adulthood, tasting the heady ambrosia of  
  
freedom? Or will you make my worst dreams come true and find a woman who will be all you  
  
wished for and more? I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, mother would never allow it. But  
  
there's nobody here for me right now and in the expanse of the universe, I feel like the tiniest  
  
speck of all. The only ties I have to this world is the family I have grown to cherish with all my  
  
heart. While I am exalting in the feeling of completion, I can't help but feel that what I give is  
  
not sufficent. You have rewarded me a home and a reason but what have I given in return? I  
  
guess I'm in your debt forever but I don't mind, as long as I can stay here with the security of  
  
people who won't throw me away. It might all end tomorrow or the day after that or next  
  
week but I will keep my faith in the present, despite my wavering concerns of the future. I  
  
wish you were here beside me, holding me and soothing away all my troubles. Brave as I  
  
might appear, I am still human enough to show reluctance of my own feelings. And I am still  
  
human enough to wonder if it will be disgust that you'll throw in my face and not love that  
  
kisses away my sorrow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The girl stared up at the ceiling for a minute more than sat up. Everybody would be sleeping  
  
by now, maybe she could steal away to the roof for some stargazing. She slipped on a thick  
  
wool coat and slid open her window, carefully climbing through. Grabbing on to the beams  
  
that were built all over the house, she shimmied her way up and grabbed on to the roof's  
  
edge. Her numb fingers began to slip and she admonished herself for trying such a foolish act.  
  
Warm hands grabbed her arms and pulled her up with a gentle strength.  
  
"Kyou?" She stammered as she gripped the shingles tightly. The boy gave her a strange smile  
  
and raised a hand to her.  
  
"Baka, what are you doing trying to climb roofs on your own?" He asked her as she grabbed  
  
his hand. He slowly walked her up to the top and waited till she had a firm seat before  
  
plopping down next to her.  
  
"I couldn't sleep." She said quietly, hoping he wouldn't send her away. "If I'm disturbing your  
  
time then I'll leave ri-"  
  
"No." He interrupted. "It's alright, you weren't disturbing anything."  
  
A comfortable silence passed as Tohru lifted her head to the sky. The moon was insubstantial  
  
and thin, allowing for the greater brightness of the stars to shine through. She let out a slow  
  
breath, watching the white puffs rise higher to the heavens, disappearing into the enveloping  
  
darkness. Kyou watched her from the corner of his eye, remembering every sculpted plane of  
  
her face and every flutter of those dizzying eyes. He lifted his own head and allowed the sky to  
  
take his breath away. He viewed the same sky every single night but tonight, she was here  
  
with him, an event he had never expected would take place. He was going to treasure every  
  
moment and store it away deep in his memory.  
  
"So this is what you do every night...look up at the sky." Tohru commented with a hint of  
  
wonder in her voice. "Do you get lonely?" She asked him curiously, turning her head to look at  
  
him.  
  
"Sometimes." He replied truthfully, none of the usual sarcasm in his words. She gave a smile,  
  
it was those rare times that he was so honest that she loved him the most.  
  
"I'll stay with you whenever you get lonely." She tucked a renegade strand of hair behind her  
  
ear and blushed, looking down at the rough brown of the roof. Her body shivered and she  
  
began to remember that the nights would become freezing as winter settled down. She still  
  
kept her face cast down, feeling embarassed that she had actually relayed her feelings out  
  
loud. He shifted his place beside her and she thought he was standing up to go back down to  
  
his room. Tears prickled her eyes and she cursed herself for being so forward. Firm arms  
  
wrapped around her from behind and pulled her back into a hard chest, holding her in a  
  
trembling embrace. She was tense for a moment then relaxed in his hold, tucking her head  
  
under his chin with her arms reaching up to touch his. Nothing was said but everything was  
  
given.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
*Nothing too waffy, just a bit to get Kyou and Tohru together. Does anybody know some really good Kyou/Tohru fics? 


End file.
